Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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