We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
