Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
