So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You are a genius and a whore.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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