and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wish there were birth control emojis
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
