Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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