On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
