my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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