well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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