id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
