the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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