its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
