Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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