She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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