I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize