I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize