Sponge bath it is.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
