physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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