I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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