Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
