how can u be prego again
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
