He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
please come you make the beer taste better
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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