Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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