At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
