does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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