The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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