I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
