Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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