He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you never un-have a 4some
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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