I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
did you just send me my own nude
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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