addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
