I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
