I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
