so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
