OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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