Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
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Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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