it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
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You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.