I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no