Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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