maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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