I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize