I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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