Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
