were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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