There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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