im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
