This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Fuck appropriateness.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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