Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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