Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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