Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
