I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
