yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize