He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
