did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
