it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
