Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize