Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
