i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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