My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize