Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
