My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
