I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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