don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
True college students do jello shots in the library
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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