in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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