Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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